Mom was talking about hypertension and stroke and our family history on the disease yesterday. My nursing friends talk about that kind of stuff all the time, but it weirds me out to hear it from my parents and having them associate disease with their own bodies. You know, my mother used to scare me when I was little. Death, she said, would one day take her and Dad away and I will be left alone with my brother, both of us incapable of living life without adult supervision.

So yesterday, having my parents truthfully say to me their illnesses made me feel sort of powerless. I do not know how to analyze blood pressure and what the complications of hypertension are. Sure enough, my mother's doctor could explain those to me, but the thought of having to rely your parents' health on the hands of another person, a stranger, made me feel uneasy.

Mom's headaches and dizziness had been more frequent lately and Dad's allergies and rheumatism have become a normal aspect of his everyday health. Add to that the fact that he still smokes more than a pack of cigarettes a day. Thea and RJ, my nursing friends, had been elaborating the medical technicalities-complications, symptoms, effects, et cetera-of these things to me, yet somehow, I still feel unsure. Do I feel guilty that I did not take up Intarmed when I had the opportunity, that the course could actually help my parents out in their old age, that it was the more popular choice of my aunts for me as compared to the BAA program I will be graduating from this year? Or am I just being paranoid about my parents' health?

Yeah, that's it. I'm just being paranoid.

Currently reading:
Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions: Second Edition (Owlet Book)
By Gloria Steinem